Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Welch on Counsel

Ed Welch encourages us to use 'six words' in counselling:

My interest is not that six-word summaries become a law. But, as a trainer of counselors, I want students to be able to summarize themselves in an image or in six-words, and I want them to be able to do the same thing with a person they are helping in such a way that the person says, “That’s me!” If counselors can’t do that, they don’t really know the person.

People who need help often feel overwhelmed with their emotions, and part of being overwhelmed is that life feels like thousands of fragments. They have lost any coherence and don’t even know where to begin. A succinct summary can provide clarity and set a clear course. It can identify those things that are most important. As such, six-words, when they both fit the person and link clearly to Scripture, are filled with hope.

Jesus said, “Do you love me?” No doubt it echoed in Peter’s mind, and our own, for years.

The apostle Paul offered four words, “Christ and him crucified.”

The apostle John? “Love, as you have first been loved.” (Yes, I know that’s seven words but you get the point –it’s succinct and full of meaning.)

A friend was grieved that her pastor was leaving for another position. As she spoke about how the pastor had blessed her, she recounted stories of her going to his office, pouring her heart out for a half-hour, and him offering a handful or two of words that demonstrated he heard well, that he loved her in Christ, and that there was clear hope in the good news that Jesus had given.

Consider your own story. When has the Spirit used the words of other people? Granted, the Spirit can use all kinds of words in ways we don’t perceive, but there are times when we can identify those words, and there usually aren’t many of them.

Here are some that I have received.

“What do you think it means that God is in this?”

“I am so sorry.”

“What you said hurt me.”

“I love you.”

Here are some that have impacted others.

“I remember that your spouse died two years ago today. You are on my heart.”

“Did you know that you hate _____?”

“Join us for lunch.”

“I know this: Jesus loves you, right now.”

“I love you.”

Help in six words. By the way, this doesn’t include the words we use praying with the other person. If you can’t offer this kind of help to someone, make it a joint project. Let him or her come up with the six words. Then hear six-words from Jesus that go right to the heart.

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