Healthy marriages are healthy because the people in those marriages find joy in cancelling debts. I cannot think of a more essential ingredient in marriage than forgiveness [86].
What Tripp teaches in this chapter though would be of huge help in all human relationships. The section on "What is forgiveness?" (92-94) would help anyone who has been wronged or offended, whether it be by parents, siblings, employers, pastors (or the sheep), friends, or even politicians.
Forgiveness is a vertical commitment that is followed by a horizontal transaction….Forgiveness begins by your giving the offense to the Lord. This does not mean that you act as if something wrong is right. It means that you do not carry the wrong with you (bitterness), and that you do not treat the other in light of the wrong (judgment). You entrust yourself to God’s mercy and justice, and you give yourself to overcoming evil with good…The reason you must start with giving the offense to God is so that when you come to your spouse, you come with the right attitude (grace) and the right goal (reconciliation)… [92-93].
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