Yesterday I received an email from a reader of this site and today I'd like to answer it (with the permission of the person who sent it). Here is what he wrote:
Thank you so much for your booklet, "Sexual Detox." I have read it over and over, and am still very much challenged by it. I was recently married and was under the illusion that marriage would solve all of my lust problems... Even though I had been told numerous times that it would not. Now I feel that everything has come to head, I know what I must do, and I want so very badly to do it, but I feel that the devil knows this is THE deciding point in my life on this issue, and he is working hard against me. I feel more captivated and strangled by my sin than ever before, and I need you to pray for me. If you have any advice or encouragement to offer, please tell me.
Thanks for sending this note. It sounds to me like you are absolutely right when say that this is a deciding point in your life on the issue of lust and the acting out of that lust. Satan will be working hard against you and, in many ways, you will be working hard against yourself. You gave yourself over to your sin and no doubt you've become captivated by it. As sin always seeks to do, it has ensnared you. But take heart. There is hope.
To reiterate what I wrote in Sexual Detox, the fact that you feel sexual desire is a good and noble thing. God has given you that desire so you will pursue your bride. But, like all good gifts, the gift of sex is one that we are prone to pervert, turning it into a means of selfish self-fulfillment. God wants you to pursue your wife, to win her heart not just once but day-by-day; and he wants you to enjoy sex with her. But, of course, you have grown used to indulging the flesh, to giving it its desires, those desires that are perversions of the true gift. And sin rarely just goes away; it is usually a long and difficult process to put it to death.
A few days ago someone asked me, "What difference does it make that Christ is on his throne?" I had to think about that one, but when I did, the answer became clear. It makes all the difference in the world. Just this morning I read from Hebrews 1 where the author says, "After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high." There is such glorious truth there.
Purification
First, Christ made purification for sins. This is the very heart of the Christian faith. Finally, after those long millenia of human history, the thousands of Old Testament prophecies were fulfilled in Christ. The seed promised all the way back in Genesis 3 had come and had crushed the head of the serpent. What this means is that if you have trusted in Christ, if you have put your faith in him, you have been purified from your sin. God no longer regards you as defiled by sin, but looks at you and sees the sinless perfection of Christ. Your sin has been given to him, his righteousness has been transferred to you.
Purification is an especially important word when we discuss sexual sin, for no sin makes us feel as dirty, as defiled, as impure as sexual sin. Because sex is so deep, so intimate, it touches the body, the soul, the emotions. And so, when we sin sexually, we tend to feel a deep sense of defilement, and particularly so when we sin in spite of a convicted conscience.
And yet Christ died to purify you from even this sin. You have sinned against God and need to seek his forgiveness. I am sure you've already done this, but do go to God, even now, and confess your sin. Be reconciled to God and receive his forgiveness, his purification from sin. Christ is far more willing to forgive you than you are even to pursue your sin.
The Majesty on High
That Christ has made purification for sin is an amazing truth. But it is only half the truth of this verse. Christ has not just died, but he is risen and now reigns at the right hand of the Father. And what does it mean that Christ is on his throne? It means that Christ is ruling and reigning. It means that Christ is sovereign, that he is King, that he has power. He gives power to his people through the Spirit, his Spirit, that he has sent to be our helper. Christ has given you the power to overcome sin. What a glorious truth this is! He has given you all you need, absolutely everything you need, to overcome sin. The Spirit works with us, in us, through us, to destroy indwelling sin and to make us in practice what we are in position--pure and holy.
So there is no excuse. Christ is reigning over the entire universe; he is reigning over sin. If you are to overcome the sin of lust, if you are to turn from your lust and find sexual desire and fulfillment only in your wife, you will need to fight with his power.
Hold tightly to these two truths and never separate them. Christ has died to destroy sin; Christ has risen to reign.
What To Do
I have already encouraged you to confess your sin to God and to ask his forgiveness. And as you do that, confess your own inability to overcome this sin and ask God for his strength, his power. Be utterly dependent upon him.
Be a godly man. Immerse yourself in the Word; be faithful in prayer; be committed to your church. Live a life of godliness. Do not approach the sin of lust as an isolated sin, but approach it as one more sin that needs to be overcome as you seek to be conformed to the image of the Savior.
In committing sexual sin, you have sinned against your wife. You need to confess this sin to her, painful thought it may be, and seek her forgiveness. You will also need to seek reconciliation with her. You are much more likely to overcome this sin with her help than without it. Be very careful not to blame her in any way for your sin; do not implicate her in any way. Confess your sin and ask her to fight with you in putting it to death. As a husband you need to lead your wife. And, as you've been sinning against her, you've been leading her poorly. Part of shepherding your wife, and often the most difficult part of all, is leading in the sexual relationship. This is especially difficult when you have committed sexual sin. But lead her nonetheless, gently and kindly. And lead her by being above reproach in every way.
Understand the triggers and the warning signs that tell you that you are particularly prone to sin. And react by fleeing from those rather than waiting for the lustful act itself. Speaking personally, I look for tiny things that may be entirely amoral and seemingly insignificant, but I know that they point to a general relaxing of standards and discipline. When I eat too much junk food or drink too much Coke, I know that I'm relaxing my personal discipline and that I'm only a few steps away from committing a sin I'll regret. So I look for these innocuous things and fight against them. It sounds silly, I know, but I've studied my propensity to sin enough to know where it begins. So find those triggers in your own life, even those amoral things, and react against them. Look for situations that lead you to sin, whether that involves browsing certain web sites or being in certain places or staying up past certain hours.
And finally, seek out an older man who can mentor you. Find a man in your church whom you respect and ask if he will help you fight lust and become a better husband to your wife. Ask him to be not an accountability partner, but a mentor.
Take Heart
And take heart. Many men can testify to God's grace in overcoming sin. Scripture itself testifies that God is eager and willing to put your sin to death. Christ has died to forgive your sin and he has risen and sent his Spirit to give you mastery over it. He reigns and he is on your side. What greater hope could there be?
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Richard Dawkins on Creation
Dawkins was on the ABC television show Q&A on 8 March 2010. He was strident, as always! But to be fair to Dawkins, he said some quite profound things which made me sit up and take notice. Perhaps its because of his ruthless logic, which although on a different worldview/plane to the Christian one is nonetheless rigorous and unearths some powerful conclusions. One of them was right at the start, when he pointed out the inconsistency of holding a belief in God and also holding to evolution:
‘I think there is a kind of incompatibility, which the creationists see clearly’
Another was at the 15-16 minute mark when he was asked the question why he goes after religious people:
‘As a scientist I care passionately about the truth... Either there is a god or there isn’t... This is supremely important. If the universe was created by an intelligence then we are looking at an entirely different kind of scientific theory then if the universe came into existence by natural means.’
Dawkins understands that supernatural creation is extremely important – so important he attacks it ruthlessly. The fear I have is that Dawkins understands the importance of supernatural creation better than many Christians! And he rightly understands that it is not just the creation which is a supernatural event in the Bible, but the miracles as well:
‘Religion makes scientific claims, the miracles being an example. You cannot reconcile an authentic approach to science with a belief in miracles or, I suspect, supernatural creation.’
His argument is correct to link both the creation and miracles – both are stated in scripture, and both are denied by science.
So what do we believe? Some Christians believe the Bible on both (Historic Creationist); others science on creation, and the Bible on subsequent miracles (Theistic Evolutionists); others science on both (Liberals). But as Dawkins has already pointed out in his opening statement, the second position is inconsistent. You cannot have as an authority on Gen 1-3 (or even Gen 1-11) Science, and then the rest of the Bible God. There are really only two authorities and hence two consistent positions – God (Bible), or Science. What will Christians choose?
‘I think there is a kind of incompatibility, which the creationists see clearly’
Another was at the 15-16 minute mark when he was asked the question why he goes after religious people:
‘As a scientist I care passionately about the truth... Either there is a god or there isn’t... This is supremely important. If the universe was created by an intelligence then we are looking at an entirely different kind of scientific theory then if the universe came into existence by natural means.’
Dawkins understands that supernatural creation is extremely important – so important he attacks it ruthlessly. The fear I have is that Dawkins understands the importance of supernatural creation better than many Christians! And he rightly understands that it is not just the creation which is a supernatural event in the Bible, but the miracles as well:
‘Religion makes scientific claims, the miracles being an example. You cannot reconcile an authentic approach to science with a belief in miracles or, I suspect, supernatural creation.’
His argument is correct to link both the creation and miracles – both are stated in scripture, and both are denied by science.
So what do we believe? Some Christians believe the Bible on both (Historic Creationist); others science on creation, and the Bible on subsequent miracles (Theistic Evolutionists); others science on both (Liberals). But as Dawkins has already pointed out in his opening statement, the second position is inconsistent. You cannot have as an authority on Gen 1-3 (or even Gen 1-11) Science, and then the rest of the Bible God. There are really only two authorities and hence two consistent positions – God (Bible), or Science. What will Christians choose?
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Tim Chester on Community
First of Four!
How do you respond to the idea of ‘missional community’? Excitement? Idealism? Threat? Intrusive? Missional community sounds fine as an ideal. But does it bare any relation to reality? How can community work with real people?
I want to suggest four key elements to making community work.
•taking the initiative to resolve conflict
•taking the initiative to serve others
•humility
•the centrality of the cross
First, taking the initiative to resolve conflict.
Conflict is a normal part of life. So don’t suppress conflict. If you can forget about it then do so. But if it affect your attitudes then you need to take the initiative to it (Ephesians 4:26-27). Talk with the person and involve others if necessary (Matthew 18:16).
Repent
Conflict arises from the desires that battle within us – when we don’t get what we want (James 4:1). Most conflicts involve fault on both sides. Where you’re at fault, repent and ask for forgiveness (don’t just say ‘sorry’ as that requires no response so can leave the issue unresolved). Where others are at fault, don’t make the issue all about you, but about them and God – about how their desires matter more to them than God.
Forgive
The sign of a true gospel community is not a community without conflict (whose message is ‘we’re nice people’), but a community that forgives (whose message is ‘God is gracious’). Forgiveness says: ‘This does matter to me, but I still forgive you’. This, in effect, is what God declared at the cross: ‘Your sin matters this much, but I still forgive you.’ It’s an act of will that may only be the beginning of the process of healing.
Conflict Resolution Tips
Cool off. Allow time for your emotions to calm down and use this time to pray and search your own heart.
Talk direct. Don’t moan to other people; talk to the person concerned. You may want to talk over the issue with a third party, but chose someone who’ll challenge your behaviour and desires.
Understand their perspective. Make an effort to understand the other person’s perspective. Check you’ve understood by repeating it back in your own words. Try to understand how you’ve contributed to the situation. Don’t trivialise the way they feel.
Use ‘I’ statements instead of ‘you’ statements. For example, ‘I felt like I was being ignored’ rather than ‘You were ignoring me’.
Avoid saying ‘but’. In conflicts the word ‘but’ will cancel what you’ve just said. ‘I appreciate your efforts, but …’ = I don’t appreciate your efforts!
Do not bring up past issues. Remember: love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5).
How do you respond to the idea of ‘missional community’? Excitement? Idealism? Threat? Intrusive? Missional community sounds fine as an ideal. But does it bare any relation to reality? How can community work with real people?
I want to suggest four key elements to making community work.
•taking the initiative to resolve conflict
•taking the initiative to serve others
•humility
•the centrality of the cross
First, taking the initiative to resolve conflict.
Conflict is a normal part of life. So don’t suppress conflict. If you can forget about it then do so. But if it affect your attitudes then you need to take the initiative to it (Ephesians 4:26-27). Talk with the person and involve others if necessary (Matthew 18:16).
Repent
Conflict arises from the desires that battle within us – when we don’t get what we want (James 4:1). Most conflicts involve fault on both sides. Where you’re at fault, repent and ask for forgiveness (don’t just say ‘sorry’ as that requires no response so can leave the issue unresolved). Where others are at fault, don’t make the issue all about you, but about them and God – about how their desires matter more to them than God.
Forgive
The sign of a true gospel community is not a community without conflict (whose message is ‘we’re nice people’), but a community that forgives (whose message is ‘God is gracious’). Forgiveness says: ‘This does matter to me, but I still forgive you’. This, in effect, is what God declared at the cross: ‘Your sin matters this much, but I still forgive you.’ It’s an act of will that may only be the beginning of the process of healing.
Conflict Resolution Tips
Cool off. Allow time for your emotions to calm down and use this time to pray and search your own heart.
Talk direct. Don’t moan to other people; talk to the person concerned. You may want to talk over the issue with a third party, but chose someone who’ll challenge your behaviour and desires.
Understand their perspective. Make an effort to understand the other person’s perspective. Check you’ve understood by repeating it back in your own words. Try to understand how you’ve contributed to the situation. Don’t trivialise the way they feel.
Use ‘I’ statements instead of ‘you’ statements. For example, ‘I felt like I was being ignored’ rather than ‘You were ignoring me’.
Avoid saying ‘but’. In conflicts the word ‘but’ will cancel what you’ve just said. ‘I appreciate your efforts, but …’ = I don’t appreciate your efforts!
Do not bring up past issues. Remember: love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5).
Monday, March 8, 2010
I.H. Marshall on NT Mission
It can be affirmed that mission is the origin of the New Testament documents. At the same time, the documents are concerned in part with the forwarding of the actual evangelism and contribute to a theology of evangelism.
Marshall then cautions those of us who theologize:
Focusing on this activity can carry with it the temptation to ignore the task of mission as the sharing of the gospel with those who have not yet heard it or beleived it . . . Even today believers may find their attention diverted to teh study of theology and other aspects of Christian living to teh detriment of evangelism, and this presupposition may give them a skewed reading of the New Testament.
Marshall then cautions those of us who theologize:
Focusing on this activity can carry with it the temptation to ignore the task of mission as the sharing of the gospel with those who have not yet heard it or beleived it . . . Even today believers may find their attention diverted to teh study of theology and other aspects of Christian living to teh detriment of evangelism, and this presupposition may give them a skewed reading of the New Testament.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Tim Challies on Doctrine
ileen and I were once members of a church that, after a few years of existence, began to de-emphasize doctrine. Some of the pastors seemed to reach the conclusion that “doctrine divides” and that the church really just needed to focus on evangelism and on “action.” They seemed to determine that a sound theological foundation held in common was unattainable and unrealistic. Therefore, doctrine should be laid aside and the church should rally around the things we had in common—a desire to reach others with the gospel and a desire to serve other people. It was a bit of a naive strategy, of course, and one that was bound to cause problems.
Soon the church began to fracture into camps—those with backgrounds in one Christian tradition began doing things in one way while people from a different Christian background began doing them a different way. For a time chaos reigned. In some small groups members of the church would serve the Lord’s Supper, in others they wouldn’t; in some small groups people were baptizing each other and serving Lord’s Supper to children. There was no standard and eventually the pastors had to step in and intervene. By then, though, it was too late and many of these small groups “defected.” Having created their own theological identity and one that was at odds with that of the pastors, some of these groups left en masse. It was an inevitable result, I think, and one that proved to me that critical importance of doctrine being held in common by members of a church.
Soon the church began to fracture into camps—those with backgrounds in one Christian tradition began doing things in one way while people from a different Christian background began doing them a different way. For a time chaos reigned. In some small groups members of the church would serve the Lord’s Supper, in others they wouldn’t; in some small groups people were baptizing each other and serving Lord’s Supper to children. There was no standard and eventually the pastors had to step in and intervene. By then, though, it was too late and many of these small groups “defected.” Having created their own theological identity and one that was at odds with that of the pastors, some of these groups left en masse. It was an inevitable result, I think, and one that proved to me that critical importance of doctrine being held in common by members of a church.
PT Forsyth on Preaching
Positive Preaching and Modern Mind. I was stirred by these statements about the Gospel preacher's call to un-originality:
The preacher makes discovery in the Gospel, not of the Gospel. Some preachers spoil their work by an incessant strain after novelty, and a morbid dread of the commonplace. But it was one no less original than Goethe, who said, the great artist is not afraid of the commonplace. To be unable to freshen the commonplace is to be either dull or inexperienced in the Gospel...
The preacher must be original in the sense that his truth is his own, but not in the sense that it has been no one else's. You must distinguish between novelty and freshness. (89)
God forbid that I should say a word to seem to justify the dullness that infects the pulpit. Alas! If our sin crucifies Christ afresh, our dullness buries Him again! ...the cure for pulpit dullness is not brilliancy, as in literature. It is for the preacher to experience the reality of the old cross. (91)
[The pastor's] charge is to educate those people not in a correct theology, old or new, but in a mighty Gospel. It is not the preacher's duty to tell everything he knows about the Bible; but it is his duty to tell everything he knows about the Gospel... (108)
The preacher makes discovery in the Gospel, not of the Gospel. Some preachers spoil their work by an incessant strain after novelty, and a morbid dread of the commonplace. But it was one no less original than Goethe, who said, the great artist is not afraid of the commonplace. To be unable to freshen the commonplace is to be either dull or inexperienced in the Gospel...
The preacher must be original in the sense that his truth is his own, but not in the sense that it has been no one else's. You must distinguish between novelty and freshness. (89)
God forbid that I should say a word to seem to justify the dullness that infects the pulpit. Alas! If our sin crucifies Christ afresh, our dullness buries Him again! ...the cure for pulpit dullness is not brilliancy, as in literature. It is for the preacher to experience the reality of the old cross. (91)
[The pastor's] charge is to educate those people not in a correct theology, old or new, but in a mighty Gospel. It is not the preacher's duty to tell everything he knows about the Bible; but it is his duty to tell everything he knows about the Gospel... (108)
Tim Chester on Gospel Living
Christians are united by faith with Christ in his death and resurrection. This is the basis of our salvation: his death is our death that he bears in our place and his new life is our new life. But this union with Christ in his death and resurrection is also the basis for the way we live our lives as Christians.
1. Suffering followed by glory
‘Then [Paul and Barnabas] returned to Lystra, Iconium and Antioch, strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,” they said.’ (Acts 14:21-22)
‘Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.’ (Romans 8:17-18)
In this present life we follow the way of the cross. Jesus said: ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.’ (Luke 9:23) Everywhere you look in the New Testament the cross of Jesus (more than the life of Jesus) defines what it means to live as Christ. It can be summarised with five Ss:
•sacrifice
•submission
•self-denial
•service
•suffering
Reflection
The way of cross impacts both our big life choices and our small daily actions: from martyrdom to washing up. Identify what the way of the cross will mean for you in the next five minutes? Five hours? Five days? Five months? Five years?
We follow the way of the cross because it leads to resurrection glory. We live sacrificially because we are living for a glorious inheritance kept in heaven for us. (See Matthew 6:19-21 and Hebrews 11:24-26 and 12:1-3.)
In the meantime we cannot expect glory without the cross (see Mark 10:35-45).
Peter concludes his first letter by saying that he has written ‘encouraging you and testifying that this is the true grace of God’ (5:12). What is this true grace of God? ‘And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.’ (1 Peter 5:10-11) The true grace of God, the grace that makes him ‘the God of all grace’, consists of this: he has called to eternal glory after we have suffered a little while. Suffering followed by glory. The pattern of suffering and glory in the experience of Christ (1:11) is the experience of all believers (1:6-7; 4:13; 5:1-6, 10).
Peter needs to write to confirm that this is the true grace of God, because there are false versions of grace. There are versions of grace that promise glory without suffering.
1. Suffering followed by glory
‘Then [Paul and Barnabas] returned to Lystra, Iconium and Antioch, strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,” they said.’ (Acts 14:21-22)
‘Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.’ (Romans 8:17-18)
In this present life we follow the way of the cross. Jesus said: ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.’ (Luke 9:23) Everywhere you look in the New Testament the cross of Jesus (more than the life of Jesus) defines what it means to live as Christ. It can be summarised with five Ss:
•sacrifice
•submission
•self-denial
•service
•suffering
Reflection
The way of cross impacts both our big life choices and our small daily actions: from martyrdom to washing up. Identify what the way of the cross will mean for you in the next five minutes? Five hours? Five days? Five months? Five years?
We follow the way of the cross because it leads to resurrection glory. We live sacrificially because we are living for a glorious inheritance kept in heaven for us. (See Matthew 6:19-21 and Hebrews 11:24-26 and 12:1-3.)
In the meantime we cannot expect glory without the cross (see Mark 10:35-45).
Peter concludes his first letter by saying that he has written ‘encouraging you and testifying that this is the true grace of God’ (5:12). What is this true grace of God? ‘And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.’ (1 Peter 5:10-11) The true grace of God, the grace that makes him ‘the God of all grace’, consists of this: he has called to eternal glory after we have suffered a little while. Suffering followed by glory. The pattern of suffering and glory in the experience of Christ (1:11) is the experience of all believers (1:6-7; 4:13; 5:1-6, 10).
Peter needs to write to confirm that this is the true grace of God, because there are false versions of grace. There are versions of grace that promise glory without suffering.
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