A new study in the United Kingdom has found that children whose parents take a "tough love" approach are better prepared to achieve in life.
The research by think tank Demos tracked the lives of 9,000 families over eight years.
The head of the research team, Sonia Sodha, says the tough love style of parenting combines warmth and discipline, and is far more important in a child's success than parents' income or social background.
"Parents are able to set rules, apply them consistently and fairly and that means that children know what the boundaries are to their behaviour," she said.
Ms Sodha says tough love parenting helps children to develop key skills such as emotion control and empathy.
"They are skills that we've termed character capabilities, and what I mean when I say that is skills like self-regulation, so being able to regulate your own emotions in difficult circumstances," she said.
"Skills like empathy, say being able to understand how other people are feeling - which is a really key skill for being able to develop good relationships with others - and skills like applications, so children being able to concentrate on the task, to be able to motivate themselves.
"This set of character capabilities are the skills that are really important in enabling children to make the most of school when they get there."
Wealthy parents
Ms Sodha said the research showed wealthier parents were likely to use the tough love parenting style.
"Parents from poor backgrounds, wealthy backgrounds, average backgrounds, they are just as likely to show warmth and affection to their children," she said.
"Where we notice the difference however was in terms of discipline, so in the ability of parents to set rules and apply them consistently. And what we found was that was a more common trait amongst parents from wealthier backgrounds."
Ms Sodha says several factors contribute to the trend.
"The first I think is the changing nature of society," she said.
"We all know we are becoming increasingly consumerist ... and if you look at the amount of direct advertising that is directed at children, that has gone up a lot in previous years.
"And what this advertising tends to do is target children to get them to pester their parents for particular goods and items, and that makes it very difficult for some parents to say no."
Family structure
Ms Sodha says a second factor is the combination of income and family structures.
"They probably all do impact on parenting style, so we know that if you are a parent who is parenting alone or if you are a poor parent, you are under a lot more stress than a wealthier parent or someone who is parenting as part of a supportive couple, so that also is important I think," she said.
Ms Sodha also says the study does not aim to tell parents exactly what they should do in every situation.
"That won't work and government doesn't know best," she said.
"What we think the implications are is that government should be ensuring that early years services ... need to be geared to helping parents develop the skills they need in order to be able to give their kids the best start in life possible."
Showing posts with label SMH. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SMH. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
SMH on Hired Friends
SMH article 22 Sep 09:
He's best friend you'll never have
Date: September 22 2009
TOKYO: The best man, Ryuichi Ichinokawa, took his place before the wedding guests, cleared his throat and for the next few minutes spoke movingly about the bride and groom. But his speech omitted one crucial fact: that he hardly knew either of them at all.
As a professional stand-in, Mr Ichinokawa is part of a growing service sector in Japan that rents out fake spouses, relatives, friends, colleagues, boyfriends and girlfriends to spare their clients' blushes at social functions.
He launched his agency, Hagemashi Tai (I Want to Cheer You Up), 3? years ago and now employs 30 people.
The number of rent-a-friend agencies in Japan has doubled to about 10 in the past eight years. The best known, Office Agent, has 1000 people on its books.
The rise of the phoney friend is a symptom of social and economic changes, combined with a deep-seated cultural aversion to giving personal and professional problems a public airing.
Demand has surged for bogus bosses among men who have lost their jobs; for colleagues among contract employees who never stay in the same job long enough to make friends, and from divorcees and lovelorn singles.
Mr Ichinokawa's stand-ins charge 15,000 yen ($190) to attend a wedding reception, but extra if they are asked to make a speech or sing karaoke.
His preparation is exhaustive, examining every possible question that, if answered incorrectly or not at all, will embarrass his client.
''I've never once been caught out,'' he said. ''If I'm pretending to be someone's husband, I make sure I know everything about my 'wife', from her mobile phone number to what 'our' kids have been getting up to lately.''
He's best friend you'll never have
Date: September 22 2009
TOKYO: The best man, Ryuichi Ichinokawa, took his place before the wedding guests, cleared his throat and for the next few minutes spoke movingly about the bride and groom. But his speech omitted one crucial fact: that he hardly knew either of them at all.
As a professional stand-in, Mr Ichinokawa is part of a growing service sector in Japan that rents out fake spouses, relatives, friends, colleagues, boyfriends and girlfriends to spare their clients' blushes at social functions.
He launched his agency, Hagemashi Tai (I Want to Cheer You Up), 3? years ago and now employs 30 people.
The number of rent-a-friend agencies in Japan has doubled to about 10 in the past eight years. The best known, Office Agent, has 1000 people on its books.
The rise of the phoney friend is a symptom of social and economic changes, combined with a deep-seated cultural aversion to giving personal and professional problems a public airing.
Demand has surged for bogus bosses among men who have lost their jobs; for colleagues among contract employees who never stay in the same job long enough to make friends, and from divorcees and lovelorn singles.
Mr Ichinokawa's stand-ins charge 15,000 yen ($190) to attend a wedding reception, but extra if they are asked to make a speech or sing karaoke.
His preparation is exhaustive, examining every possible question that, if answered incorrectly or not at all, will embarrass his client.
''I've never once been caught out,'' he said. ''If I'm pretending to be someone's husband, I make sure I know everything about my 'wife', from her mobile phone number to what 'our' kids have been getting up to lately.''
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
SMH on Marriage
This article from SMH Tue 8 Sep 09 shows the latest trends in Australians' views on marriage, sex, sexuality, and God....
If you always thought Australians were a godless pack of loose-living bastards, you're right. Census figures confirm that more Australians are living together before getting married, that more children are being born out of wedlock and couples are more likely than ever to be married by a celebrant than in a religious ceremony.
Changing social attitudes over the past few decades have resulted in a greater acceptance of couplings outside marriage, including de facto and same-sex relationships.
Figures just released by the Bureau of Statistics show that registered marriages are at a 20-year high, and weddings officiated by civil celebrants are increasingly popular. In 2008, civil celebrants performed 65 per cent of marriages.
"This is part of a wider trend towards secularisation in Australia," says Lixia Qu, a researcher at the Australian Institute of Family Studies. "Not only do more people today identify themselves as being of no religion (21 per cent compared to 18 per cent in 1996) but the percentage of people who call themselves Christian has declined 78 to 72 per cent from 1969 to 2006."
These changes are easy to take for granted and yet they represent a significant re-ordering of moral priorities, according to demographer Bernard Salt.
"If you had said years ago that we would see many more people living together before marriage and double the number of kids being born out of wedlock, moralists would have seen it as proof of the decline of civilisation and the collapse of our moral fibre. But the reality is that the taboos we once thought immovable are completely flexible."
Salt believes such shifts show our maturity. "People are less preoccupied with sexuality and more concerned about discrimination, with sexism and racism and even with sustainability. Who cares if you're gay? Who cares if you live together without getting married?"
Likewise, the significance of marriage has diminished.
"People care less about the actual marriage, so they don't mind having kids outside of it."
This is partly a function of gender equality. "Marriage is part of an earlier notion that women were dependent on men. Women were saying 'if I am going to invest in you by bearing your kids, then you have to commit to me in marriage'. But with women able to earn an equal income, that contract has been weakened."
If you always thought Australians were a godless pack of loose-living bastards, you're right. Census figures confirm that more Australians are living together before getting married, that more children are being born out of wedlock and couples are more likely than ever to be married by a celebrant than in a religious ceremony.
Changing social attitudes over the past few decades have resulted in a greater acceptance of couplings outside marriage, including de facto and same-sex relationships.
Figures just released by the Bureau of Statistics show that registered marriages are at a 20-year high, and weddings officiated by civil celebrants are increasingly popular. In 2008, civil celebrants performed 65 per cent of marriages.
"This is part of a wider trend towards secularisation in Australia," says Lixia Qu, a researcher at the Australian Institute of Family Studies. "Not only do more people today identify themselves as being of no religion (21 per cent compared to 18 per cent in 1996) but the percentage of people who call themselves Christian has declined 78 to 72 per cent from 1969 to 2006."
These changes are easy to take for granted and yet they represent a significant re-ordering of moral priorities, according to demographer Bernard Salt.
"If you had said years ago that we would see many more people living together before marriage and double the number of kids being born out of wedlock, moralists would have seen it as proof of the decline of civilisation and the collapse of our moral fibre. But the reality is that the taboos we once thought immovable are completely flexible."
Salt believes such shifts show our maturity. "People are less preoccupied with sexuality and more concerned about discrimination, with sexism and racism and even with sustainability. Who cares if you're gay? Who cares if you live together without getting married?"
Likewise, the significance of marriage has diminished.
"People care less about the actual marriage, so they don't mind having kids outside of it."
This is partly a function of gender equality. "Marriage is part of an earlier notion that women were dependent on men. Women were saying 'if I am going to invest in you by bearing your kids, then you have to commit to me in marriage'. But with women able to earn an equal income, that contract has been weakened."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
